Insecurity:

On a scale I can tell you I am a 5. Maybe a 6. Sometime a 7.

Of insecurity.

Sometimes I’m a 4. Or a 3. Or a 2, maybe.

Insecurity

Lines up with

Fear, it’s apparently purple.

I didn’t know that, I guess, you could assign fear a color though.

I don’t think so. I think purple is soft. Like a cold day in November, cup of tea, cat purring nearby, Blanket on lap a shade of plum.

It’s cold because purple is enough to keep you warm.

It is adequate.

Inadequacy, however you see it,

Stems from both

Rejection and

Insecurity.

Am I insecure

Because of the rejection?

Am I rejecting

Or projecting?

I think it’s protecting

But instead it’s isolating me

Leaving me to feel

Even more

Inadequate.

I am not captive

To an audience,

Nobody pulls my strings

And yet

I let

Other people’s feelings

Rule over me.

And then I feel smaller

And angrier

And more distant,

More blue,

Than I did before.

I draped myself in purple

And it left me a little cold

But warm enough to survive another winter,

And continue to seek my own soul.