Eating elephants

The reflectively app on my cellphone told me that Thursday is for starting new habits

Which means I suppose looking at myself more constructively. Some things are easier when I’m high. I’m less anxious but also less focused and I’m not always focused to begin with but I’m also really great at multitasking for the most part and I’m getting better at being a good listener

I’m a critical thinker but really I’m often looking for a shortcut. The easiest way to point z to a without telling you the alphabet backwards.

I like metaphors. They’re like open doors

Interpretation

Take what you get

As it’s given

A lady with a red scarf walked into the house across the street and I only looked up just in time to watch her and the flowing fabric disappear behind the door

It’s funny how much I can observe that quickly.

Imagine if I actually spent time on the things I want to be doing instead of the things I’ve been conditioned to want

By others or myself.

I always want someone who doesn’t want me

And it’s not healthy

Instead of getting to know someone

Who is into me

For who they are

And not who they could be.

That’s an ugly truth.

I tend to write stories in my head when I’m not spending my energy writing the truth down on paper like this

Or In this case along with 1135 other notes in my phone.

You can see why it can be hard for me to stay organized.

There is soooo much happening at once

In this world inside of me

Meaning I have a high capacity for detail to a certain degree of focus

And I can only focus on one thing for so long.

That’s a bad habit.

I’m working on it, like I am everything else, and you can’t eat the whole elephant at once so

Ganesh will clear the path whether I think I want it or not

And eventually

I’ll be where I need to be

And I’ll understand why it took so long.